I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
