just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The uberlube is also flammable
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