so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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