My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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