Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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