i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
