So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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