Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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