Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
