Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We have started to decorate penises.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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