is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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