fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
