dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
