No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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