Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
