U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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