you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize