you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
where are you?
Hypothermia
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
