Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
