so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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