Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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