When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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