so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
