Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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