that's an acceptable place to lick
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize