Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
