You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
