Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
