see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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