toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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