waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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