Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
