Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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