Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
