You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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