Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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