theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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