I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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