sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
