If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
