I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
