TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize