She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
