he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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