brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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