i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
