why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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