suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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