i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
