You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
