WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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