You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
