My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
