So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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