U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
