So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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