Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
