Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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