oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize