Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
