is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
