hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
