I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
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Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i dont even know how to be here
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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