Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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