Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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