Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
