When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
