how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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